Random moments of crazyness
Re: Random moments of crazyness
Dark?? You aren't a dark fairy, of that I am sure......... a naughty fairy, yes, but not a dark fairy.
Dogs have owners, Cats have staff
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
-
Hiki
- Honorary Evil Kitty
- Posts: 2946
- Joined: July 10th, 2007, 12:05 pm
- Location: ☆Court of Miracles☆
- Contact:
Re: Random moments of crazyness
I don't think you're a dark faerie... You're too nice to be a dark faerie. 
Don't feed me violins.
Re: Random moments of crazyness
Awwww, thank you!
.....sometimes you have to lose your mind to find it......
Re: Random moments of crazyness
I finally found a Doctor I can agree with.
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise.
Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer;
that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.
Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn.
And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient
mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken.
Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).
And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,
that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more
of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.
If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are fried, these days, in vegetable oil.
In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q:Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger.
You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans ! Another vegetable!!!
It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember:
'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention
of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in sideways -
Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other -
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and
screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'
__________________
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise.
Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer;
that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.
Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn.
And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient
mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken.
Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).
And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,
that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more
of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one.
If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are fried, these days, in vegetable oil.
In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q:Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger.
You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans ! Another vegetable!!!
It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember:
'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention
of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in sideways -
Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other -
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and
screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'
__________________
Dogs have owners, Cats have staff
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
Re: Random moments of crazyness
I am only 67% evil.
Darn it!
Darn it!
.....sometimes you have to lose your mind to find it......
-
Hiki
- Honorary Evil Kitty
- Posts: 2946
- Joined: July 10th, 2007, 12:05 pm
- Location: ☆Court of Miracles☆
- Contact:
Re: Random moments of crazyness
Oh, when I did one of those tests I came out with a whole lot of evil. (I thought it was something like 95%.. at least really high 
but it was quite some time ago)... It must be because you have kids.
TOMORROW'S THE DAAAAAAAAAY when I'll hear my results
but it was quite some time ago)... It must be because you have kids.TOMORROW'S THE DAAAAAAAAAY when I'll hear my results
Don't feed me violins.
-
Hiki
- Honorary Evil Kitty
- Posts: 2946
- Joined: July 10th, 2007, 12:05 pm
- Location: ☆Court of Miracles☆
- Contact:
Re: Random moments of crazyness
MAH EXAMSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSssssssss 
(Sorry, hyper-ness seems to have gotten me after I left my sister's place )
(Sorry, hyper-ness seems to have gotten me after I left my sister's place
)Don't feed me violins.
Re: Random moments of crazyness
(Gives Hiki an expresso and a couple candy bars) Hyper?? now why would you be hyper?
Dogs have owners, Cats have staff
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.
Re: Random moments of crazyness
Can I have an expresso and a couple of candy bars, too?
.....sometimes you have to lose your mind to find it......