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Chief Jerry Reilly: What in the sweet chocolate Christ is a metrosexual?

- Rescue Me

Franco Rivera: He's retarded.
Kenny Lou: Like Rainman retarded or Paris Hilton retarded?

- Rescue Me

Tommy Gavin: The harder I work, the luckier I get.

- Rescue Me

Xander: Where is he? Where's the creep that turned me into his spider-eating man-bitch?

Buffy: He's gone.

Xander: Damn it! You know what? I'm sick of this crap. I'm sick of being the guy who eats insects and gets the funny syphilis. As of this moment, it's over. I'm finished being everybody's butt monkey.

Buffy: Check. No more butt monkey.

[Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Season Five; Episode: "Buffy vs. Dracula"]

(Xander is tying Spike, the vampire with the chip in his head that renders him incapable of hurting humans, to a chair)

Spike: I don't see why I have to be tied up.

Xander: It's just while I'm sleeping.

Spike: Like I'd bite you anyway.

Xander: Oh, you would.

Spike: Not bloody likely.

Xander: I happen to be very biteable, pal. I'm moist and delicious.

Spike: All right, yeah, fine. You're a nummy treat.

Xander: And don't you forget it.

[Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Season Four; Episode: "Hush"]

Shawn Spencer: The chips say you're a cheater, cheater pumpkin eater!

-Psych

Hiro Nakamura: That's fighting dirty
Takezo Sensei: That's fighting smart sir. Don't get me wrong I give him a fair wage... if he lives

- Heroes