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Re: 5 minutes...... oldwrench tries story telling
Posted: May 14th, 2010, 6:59 pm
by Zeratul2k
It is my uninformed opinion that she was referring to Hiki

Re: 5 minutes...... oldwrench tries story telling
Posted: May 14th, 2010, 8:15 pm
by oldwrench
Between Hiki and Bunny, we could have some nice picts. We have some nice cute people, and a couple harder, more emo types. Georgianna would definitely be Bunny's type of art, and Megumi and Arisa would fit Hiki's pretty well.
Re: 5 minutes...... oldwrench tries story telling
Posted: May 14th, 2010, 11:20 pm
by Hiki
Sakura wrote:Hiki wrote:Niiiiiiiiiiice :3
Would you like to draw some illustrations for the epic book that's coming soon?

If I can remember how the characters look ^^; (My memory fails badly I'm afraid.. Dx) But I'd love to!
What gpa suggested might be fun :3 Especially because, officially, I don't do requests/free art anymore.. *shot* (But for you I'll totally make an exception

)
*floats off on a pink cloud*
Re: 5 minutes...... oldwrench tries story telling
Posted: May 15th, 2010, 2:00 am
by oldwrench
Check the first few chapters, some of the character descriptions are there. This is what I have on my bio sheet.
Name: Daniel Hellwind
age: 32
hair: black
eyes: brown
Height: 5' 9" 1.8m
Colonel
Name: Aidan Pryde
age: 32
height: 5' 10" 1.8m
hair: dark blond
eyes: dark green
captain
Name: John Robert Crichton, Jr.
Rank: 2nd Lieutenant
Age: 28
Stature: 5'11, 189lbs. Brown hair, blues eyes
Name: Megumi Yamato
Home: Japan
Age: 20
Height: 5'3"
Hair: Black,
waist length.
Eyes: Black
Rank: 1st Lieutenant
Geofrey Harcourt
age:33
a generic guy, British decent
Name: Georgianna McFarlaine
Rank: Captain
Age: 23
Stature: 5'8", 125 lbs, red hair, green eyes, athletic build
Name:Arisa Higgins
age: 19
Rank: 2nd lieutenant
eyes: bright blue
hair: short blond
1.5 meters tall, petite, looks like a schoolgirl, pixie like face.
Name: Kaze
Age: 19
Height: 5' 4" 1.6m
hair, black
eyes, black
Rank: 2nd Lieutenant
Name: Louis Hermann
Rank: First Lieutenant
Generic 30 something guy, German decent
Name: Dominic Torres
age: 28
hair: Dark Brown
Eyes: Dark Brown
height: 5' 8" 1.7m stocky build
Rank: Captain
Chad Ross
First Lieutenant
height: 6'4" 1.9m
weight: 175
hair: medium length brown
Eyes: dark steel grey
age: around 23
Rose Kerlav
age: 28
hair:short cut light brown
eyes: hazel
Height: 5' 4" 1.6m
curvy voluptuous build
Ben Wolfman
Age: 20
Height: 6' 10" 2.1m
weight: 350lb 159kg
Hair: straw blond and wild
eyes: light blue
a mountain of muscle, but always smiling
Re: 5 minutes...... oldwrench tries story telling
Posted: May 16th, 2010, 10:54 am
by Hiki
I knew it was somewhere in the first chapters X3
Thanks~! :3 That saves me some time :3
Re: 5 minutes...... oldwrench tries story telling
Posted: May 16th, 2010, 11:07 pm
by oldwrench
Here's another chapter, really short this time. A bit of action inside the ship. Poor Arisa, so ready to prove herself, and the big mech fails her.
And what of Georgianna? Will she survive a point blank shot from a beam rifle?
Will we find out?................
Chapter 33
Arisa sat frustrated. Kion was going nowhere and her group was out there in action.
She’d been so keyed up and ready, she had to prove she could do this, to her captain, to her
father.......... most of all, to herself, and now it was all for nothing. The Tech told her there was no
communication from the main console to the VCM. They would have to check the fiber optic
link, maybe have to pull the console. She sighed, she wasn’t getting anywhere here, she would
need some tools and test gear. Arisa took off her helmet and climbed out of the big mech.
Kirk grabbed Arisa’s wrist as soon as she stepped out of Kion. “They’re going to destroy
this ship, just like the other one. I’ve got a pod ready, we’re getting out of here.”
Arisa jerked her arm away. “What are you talking about? I’m not going anywhere, not
with you.”
Kirk tried to grab her again. “Yes you are, you belong to me. We’re getting out of here. I
have plans, they’ll take care of us, once they know who I am.”
Arisa dodged his grab for her arm. “What the hell are you talking about? Who’s going to
destroy the ship? We aren’t going anywhere. I don’t belong to you. Wait till my brother hears
about this, he’ll straighten you out.”
Kirk grabbed Arisa by the hair and pulled her toward himself. His laugh was evil. “By
now, your brother’s dead. You’re mine, my little ticket. I’m taking you, now.”
Arisa’s eyes watered, she heard his words, but they couldn’t be true. Arisa balled her fist,
“YOU LIAR!” she screamed as she swung as hard as she could and hit Kirk squarely in the
nose..
Kirk screamed as he stumbled backward. He fell, rolling down the steps from the
platform to the hangar floor. Kirk rolled over and staggered to his feet, his hands over his
bleeding nose.. “YOU BITCH!” He screamed. “You broke my nose. I’m taking you with me if I
have to beat you.” He started toward the steps, then looked around at the techs coming toward
him.
“You’re a lying bastard,” Arisa yelled at him. “If you come near me again, Kirk Ashford,
I swear, I’ll kill you.”
Kirk growled, “You’ll regret this, you bitch. You can go to hell with the rest of them.” He
turned and quickly fled the room.
“Hey, you alright?” the tech came up behind her. “What was that?”
Arisa shook the tears out of her eyes, “he’s nobody....... an asshole. She hurried down the
steps, she had to get away. “Just fix Kion...... please.” She hurried out by a different door.
................Maybe next time.
Re: 5 minutes...... oldwrench tries story telling
Posted: May 18th, 2010, 2:10 am
by Zeratul2k
Looks really good so far. Arisa's storyline is something I wouldn't have expected in the original 5 minutes, and it would have made for quite a lot of role playing opportunities.
Re: 5 minutes...... oldwrench tries story telling
Posted: May 18th, 2010, 4:06 am
by oldwrench
Ok, I promised we'd get into the battle, and I'd get back to Georgianna. Find out her fate, and more, in the next thrilling chapter......... well anyway, here it is.
Chapter 34
Georgianna cried out as hot plasma burned through the cockpit, just inches to her right.
Her arm shield had partially blocked the deadly beam. The damage was sever, almost half her
screens were out, the main sensors on the right side were dead. A second black mech appeared to
her left and fired it’s beam cannon. She blocked that one with her arm shield, but it began to
glow from the heat. It wouldn’t stand another blast at this range. Georgianna knew she was in
trouble, she fumbled with the switches and turned on her last ditch defense, the I-field barrier.
Georgianna drew her beam saber, the barrier drew enormous amounts of power, she had about
thirty seconds to finish this before her weapons, and then the barrier, would fail.
Green Giant squad moved out to surround the ship. John saw that the two mechs from
Red Phoenix were returning so he called his captain for permission to go aid captain McFarlaine.
John got no reply. He tried again, but still no answer. John had heard Chad’s warning to
Georgianna, he just couldn’t leave her fight alone, he took off to help her, pushing his thrusters to
maximum.
Aidens mech hung motionless. They were surrounded, there were hundreds of them.
General Walters had made a terrible mistake, following the pirate’s ship into the asteroid belt. It
was a trap, they were firing from behind hundreds of asteroids. The massed firepower
overwhelmed the defensive shields of the huge carrier, the Ark Royal. Aiden could see the big
ship shudder and start to break apart from the rain of rail gun and missile fire. Half of their mechs
were still in the ship, he saw them desperately trying to launch. He watched as mechs struggled to
pull free from the crumbling ship, only to be crushed and torn apart. Aiden tried to gather his
command, twenty mechs, into a defensive circle, but they were overwhelmed by the hundreds of
mechs and small ships of the pirate’s ambush. There was a bright flash, then darkness.
Chad desperately tried to tell the other defenders where the attackers were. “Above the
ship, there are two attacking you. On the port side there’s one coming in.” He was getting
frustrated, he didn’t know which of the Krikav’s mechs were positioned where. “Ahhhg,” Chad
yelled at his mech, “how can I tell who’s who? I’d need a tactical display like the ships have.”
“Tactical mode engaged,” Ghost answered calmly, and Chad’s display lit up with colored
markings for each squad’s mechs. There were also numbers identifying which squad number
each was, weapons status and battle damage.
“Yes,” Chad cheered, “Green two, there’s one coming behind you. Red four, one to your
left and high. Red two, two in front of you.” Chad noticed Dominic and Rose emerge from the
wreck of the Tarsonis. “Gunner, captain, there are six that just passed you, headed for the
Krikav” Chad noticed that Georgianna had taken battle damage, and was fighting two enemy.
Worse, there was a third almost on her.”
Georgianna was having difficulties trying to fight the two mechs with the right half of her
screens gone. The barrier stopped the beam weapons of her attackers and she had wrecked one
beam rifle and done some damage to the other mech, but it wasn’t going well, these guys were
good, and she had to shut her shield down or her weapons would quit. She didn’t see the third
mech materialize to her right, beam rifle leveled at her mech.
Re: 5 minutes...... oldwrench tries story telling
Posted: May 18th, 2010, 2:28 pm
by Hiki
Cliffhanger D:
Love it though

Re: 5 minutes...... oldwrench tries story telling
Posted: May 19th, 2010, 1:37 am
by oldwrench
I've got to leave cliffhangers, or nobody would come back to read the next chapter :(