Back...
Posted: November 18th, 2008, 9:18 am
Hey, Not sure if this is permanent or not...since the last week of Oct. my life has just really sucked... I have no interest in life anymore. My TV is collecting dust. Life just seems so meaningless and pointless now. I don't even sleep anymore either. People at work call me Raccoon because my eyes are so dark now.
I don't even know why I came on here. All I do is work and wander the internet aimlessly. It somehow brought me back here and now I'm even more sadden. I was reading a lot of the old posts. This place was a lot of fun, not I don't even see an Agito or z2k post.
I don't even know why I'm even back on here. I'm sure its dangerous for me to be even on here, but you know what I don't care anymore. I was born into a life of fear and I'm sick of it. I'm sick of living in fear. I'm sick of people threatening me. All my life I've been bullied and beaten up on and I'm sick of it. People think just because they read a book or watched a movie about California, about the Mexican culture, or gang life. They think they know me. You don't know me or the life I lived or the things I've seen or been through.
I'm done wandering aimlessly. This Friday is my birthday and I'm gonna 24. Heh, I never did make my first film to tie the youngest age. But I have an idea what I want to do now. Reading a lot of the old posts, made me smile for the first time since Oct. I'm thankful for the good times I had on here. I'm thankful for the friends I've made on here, the internet and in person. Since Oct. One person has kinda help me the best they could and I'm grateful for them. *sigh* I just wish I had a certain someone with me right now. I need them right now. I'm a mess...
I will say this as a final note. I serve a mighty God. Though I've failed him dozen times, He has never let me down. I serve a mighty God name Jesus. He has protected me through so much that I will never turn my back on him, never deny or reject him. I will fail him for I am flesh. My God is so good to me, he has delivered me through so much. Even the hands of my enemies. For God is with me, who can be against me...Sorry I just had to blow a lot of steam...This friend that has been helping me out, got a lot worse...Well I guess thats all. *Goes back to wandering*
I don't even know why I came on here. All I do is work and wander the internet aimlessly. It somehow brought me back here and now I'm even more sadden. I was reading a lot of the old posts. This place was a lot of fun, not I don't even see an Agito or z2k post.
I don't even know why I'm even back on here. I'm sure its dangerous for me to be even on here, but you know what I don't care anymore. I was born into a life of fear and I'm sick of it. I'm sick of living in fear. I'm sick of people threatening me. All my life I've been bullied and beaten up on and I'm sick of it. People think just because they read a book or watched a movie about California, about the Mexican culture, or gang life. They think they know me. You don't know me or the life I lived or the things I've seen or been through.
I'm done wandering aimlessly. This Friday is my birthday and I'm gonna 24. Heh, I never did make my first film to tie the youngest age. But I have an idea what I want to do now. Reading a lot of the old posts, made me smile for the first time since Oct. I'm thankful for the good times I had on here. I'm thankful for the friends I've made on here, the internet and in person. Since Oct. One person has kinda help me the best they could and I'm grateful for them. *sigh* I just wish I had a certain someone with me right now. I need them right now. I'm a mess...
I will say this as a final note. I serve a mighty God. Though I've failed him dozen times, He has never let me down. I serve a mighty God name Jesus. He has protected me through so much that I will never turn my back on him, never deny or reject him. I will fail him for I am flesh. My God is so good to me, he has delivered me through so much. Even the hands of my enemies. For God is with me, who can be against me...Sorry I just had to blow a lot of steam...This friend that has been helping me out, got a lot worse...Well I guess thats all. *Goes back to wandering*