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Kira
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Back...

Post by Kira » November 18th, 2008, 9:18 am

Hey, Not sure if this is permanent or not...since the last week of Oct. my life has just really sucked... I have no interest in life anymore. My TV is collecting dust. Life just seems so meaningless and pointless now. I don't even sleep anymore either. People at work call me Raccoon because my eyes are so dark now.

I don't even know why I came on here. All I do is work and wander the internet aimlessly. It somehow brought me back here and now I'm even more sadden. I was reading a lot of the old posts. This place was a lot of fun, not I don't even see an Agito or z2k post.

I don't even know why I'm even back on here. I'm sure its dangerous for me to be even on here, but you know what I don't care anymore. I was born into a life of fear and I'm sick of it. I'm sick of living in fear. I'm sick of people threatening me. All my life I've been bullied and beaten up on and I'm sick of it. People think just because they read a book or watched a movie about California, about the Mexican culture, or gang life. They think they know me. You don't know me or the life I lived or the things I've seen or been through.

I'm done wandering aimlessly. This Friday is my birthday and I'm gonna 24. Heh, I never did make my first film to tie the youngest age. But I have an idea what I want to do now. Reading a lot of the old posts, made me smile for the first time since Oct. I'm thankful for the good times I had on here. I'm thankful for the friends I've made on here, the internet and in person. Since Oct. One person has kinda help me the best they could and I'm grateful for them. *sigh* I just wish I had a certain someone with me right now. I need them right now. I'm a mess...

I will say this as a final note. I serve a mighty God. Though I've failed him dozen times, He has never let me down. I serve a mighty God name Jesus. He has protected me through so much that I will never turn my back on him, never deny or reject him. I will fail him for I am flesh. My God is so good to me, he has delivered me through so much. Even the hands of my enemies. For God is with me, who can be against me...Sorry I just had to blow a lot of steam...This friend that has been helping me out, got a lot worse...Well I guess thats all. *Goes back to wandering*
You don't see yourself clearly at all. You're not like anyone I've ever known. You Fascinate me.

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oldwrench
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Re: Back...

Post by oldwrench » November 18th, 2008, 2:42 pm

Hi Kira, I'm really glad to see you here again. I've been wondering how things have been with you. Sounds like you've had a tough time, but trials and tribulations are our lot in life. I hope things soon get better for you. Just spend some time here with us, you have friends here, we won't beat up on you....... I promise. Well, maybe a baka stick now and then, if you're bad, but nothing more. Most of the people here have been Kinda busy lately, but they post when they can, and we still have our chat time friday nights, join us if you can.

And I'm sure the Lord has plans for you, he still directs our lives. If you follow his teachings, things will someday come out brighter. I'm really bad at remembering quotes from the Bible, but there are a lot to use right now. Read the chapter Ecclesiastes 3, "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven". Another good one to read would be Job. He went through some very hard trials and was rewarded in the end. I hope God soon helps you find something to care about again.
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Kira
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Re: Back...

Post by Kira » November 18th, 2008, 9:51 pm

Yeah, thanks gpa. As far as being happy in life, not so. But I am starting to get a new found direction in life. I still wanna make films and I still wanna make my action and silly ones, but right now I have few idea for some serious short movies I wanna work on.

As I said I've been talking to this person, they're really into anime too, I've told them about this place, but they're not much on rpg. I told them you can just kick it on here. This person really wants to be a writer and is already working on a novel and really pushing themselves. And they have their issue too but they're able to get through it and press on. Plus they are so funny, they really made me laugh in times I truly needed too.

Since what happened, I was afraid and became a hermit, staying away from anything to public (internet-wise). But I'm done. I can't let a person rule over me thru fear. I still have my own life to live. I still have to seek out and find my glory. I wanna defy everything and everyone.

I'm gonna be 24, in the US government, when a person becomes 24 they are now by US law "divorced" from they're parents, you can no longer use your parents for anything and your parents can't use you for anything, I am now by US law, on my own. I have to now forcefully take responsibility of my own actions and seek help and answers on my own.
You don't see yourself clearly at all. You're not like anyone I've ever known. You Fascinate me.

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Hiki
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Re: Back...

Post by Hiki » November 18th, 2008, 10:05 pm

Though I probably won't be of much help, you can always ask for advice here :love: :kiss: should you need any :meh: Take care of yourself and keep on believing! Then I'm sure everything will be okay. I'm sure your God will help you get through this :love: :kiss: (and we will too if we can :ho: )
Don't feed me violins.

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oldwrench
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Re: Back...

Post by oldwrench » November 19th, 2008, 2:10 am

Being a hermit doesn't usually solve your problems. Sometime, just venting to someone works a lot better. You have some friends here who would be glad to help.

It's great that you are looking forward to getting out on your own. It's a really big and tough step in your life, to decide to be independent. With some guts and determination, you will make it...... I'm sure. I just hope, someday, you are able to live your dreams. Just don't be too disappointed if God's plan for you isn't as quite what you want it to be. It will be what is best for you in the end.

Remember to start small with your movie plans. That was the advice I found about it, start small and work on learning your style and abilities. I'm still waiting to see a good five minute movie of yours on you tube or something.

Your friend has some ambition, trying to write a novel. Even Isaac Asimov was rejected dozens of times before he sold his first short story. Dinky wants to write a children's book, she's working on it, and my other daughter is giong to do the illustrations. Dinky is a pretty good writer, check out the short stories thread, she has a "short" novel there based on Escaflowne. Your friend might like it.

Take care, friend.
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Re: Back...

Post by Sakura » November 19th, 2008, 6:02 am

There are bad times :sob:
There are also good times :love:

Very often it's your decision which you want to live in.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extended vocabulary? A thesaurus.

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Kira
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Re: Back...

Post by Kira » November 19th, 2008, 9:04 pm

Yeah, thanks everyone. Its nice to know that people do care. That alone is enough to save someone. And don't worry gpa. Soon, I'll have a short film, just for you up.
You don't see yourself clearly at all. You're not like anyone I've ever known. You Fascinate me.

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Kira
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Re: Back...

Post by Kira » February 14th, 2009, 7:18 am

-Crawls from the depths of hell- Hiya! um sorry about the long absent...Um, kinda went downhill there, but I'm...-does a Willy Wonka style roll- All better!

Um, well...I'm doing great as you can tell, lol. Um, working on a webisode. Got a few "test" video on my youtube. Still at Target (8months strong, Can I help you find something). Um, kinda sorta seeing someone, lol. but that's a secret so shh...

To be honest not that much into anime anymore, haven't really seen a good new series. Selling a few of my series. Hmm... -thinks- so um yeah....Any questions?

Sorry I've been gone so long.
You don't see yourself clearly at all. You're not like anyone I've ever known. You Fascinate me.

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Re: Back...

Post by agito_0291 » February 14th, 2009, 7:22 am

KKKKKKKKKKKKKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*runs over and football tackles Kira 1 yard short of a first down.*

Welcome Back! :thumb: It's great to hear from you again! Glad to know things are working out for you!!!

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Kira
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Re: Back...

Post by Kira » February 14th, 2009, 7:24 am

Oof! -grunts and wrestles to get up- Agito-Man! hows the undead life my friend?
You don't see yourself clearly at all. You're not like anyone I've ever known. You Fascinate me.

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