Hallow's Corner

Stories posted here will be copied to the Fan Fiction page. Please only submit your own work.
User avatar
Dorian
New User
Posts: 16
Joined: January 26th, 2012, 8:18 am
Location: United States
Contact:

Hallow's Corner

Post by Dorian » February 1st, 2012, 10:20 am

:hmm: I am not too sure on how this will turn out, but I am determined to give it my best shot!

In my corner I hope to post up some stories that I want to draw eventually.
Though for now i have to deal with just typing them.
:.: Also I might try to post up some of my art.

Hear It

"He softly sighed as the mellow breeze passed over his already shivering body. The muscles still trying to tense and clamp up as the heat became rapidly spinning out of the skin and up into the icy air. His bright amber fur was beginning to fade as the snow settled on top. His eyes of gold began to dissipate into a brown as it reflected his will to continue move. Another breeze of a fresh winter hit with a harsh impact of a thousand knives, impaling from nose to the hinds of this poor creature. All too soon the once beautiful land of birthing miracles seemed to be a darkened tomb of everlasting despair."

The lands began to shake with the intensity of an angered heartbeat and the animals of the land began to cry and run in fear of this uneasy feeling. All kinds began to ban together and shelter one another from this uncontrolled rage that unknowingly plagued this home. The voices and whispers sounded off so slowly as the grounds began to recede in the quaking. Soft hymns began to float and sooth, encircling each pack heading out for their familiar havens. One family, a group of wolves, stayed to search the area and figure what the cause of the disturbance was.
"Hehehe, so what are we trying to do mommy?" The small voice bounced from a young pup. The mother nuzzled her offspring before relating her answer. "We must figure out what caused this homeland to become unbalanced and tremble my young Argo." He smooth delivery came as a strong comfort to the vigilant youthful fuzzball. As the search went on the sun began to brighten its rays and warm the chilling climate. Warming up the gathered, they began to quicken the pace of the search.

Soon a howl sounded off to the nearby left of where the mass had collected earlier.
Gasps began to fill around what was discovered and others yelped from the shock.

The female had raced through to see what the commotion was about...only to find herself frozen in fear of what her eyes beheld in front of her. "Oh no.No.No.No.No.NO!" She continued to scream with snarls of frustration and heartbreak. As the others held their heads down in respect, no one noticed the pup maneuvering amongst them. He soon reached near his mother only to see her rampaging and kicking up the light soft fluffs of snow. "Oh mother--why are you playing in the snow? I want to---" He was soon cut off as his mother faced him with diamond tears flowing freely down her cheeks. "Why are you crying mother? Is there something wrong?" He questioned with the utmost innocence and curiosity.
She moved from her standing point only to reveal to the pup a horrid scene, something that only traumatized him with great multitude.

The young pups father had been killed, mutilated by a monster, then left to die in the freezing cold.

:shy: :swt: I usually try not to write so much as to draw. I think I can express better in a picture than I can write do to the fact that I hardly read books. I have an explicit interest to read something, so much less can I write. Though this seems like a good first entry, and I really feel I want to contribute a depiction with it.
So here is Argo seeing his father dead--

Music listened to was: http://youtu.be/FHYdULF8fyQ
Somehow I just couldn't get this song to stop playing in my head when writing and drawing.
Attachments
Argofin.png
Image

User avatar
Hiki
Honorary Evil Kitty
Posts: 2946
Joined: July 10th, 2007, 12:05 pm
Location: ☆Court of Miracles☆
Contact:

Re: Hallow's Corner

Post by Hiki » February 1st, 2012, 1:14 pm

;-; Poor wolf..

I think your writing is pretty good :D And your drawing is really cool too 8D Can't wait to see what you have in store for us next~
Don't feed me violins.

User avatar
JHawkNH
Anime Addict
Posts: 1300
Joined: July 10th, 2007, 6:59 pm
Location: Minnesota

Re: Hallow's Corner

Post by JHawkNH » February 1st, 2012, 5:19 pm

Very nice. Your writting still needs a little fine tunning, but you are doing something that many other writes tend to not do. You have alot of imagry in your writting. That is a major plus and one of the harder things to get people to do when writting stories.

It is one thing to read about what is happening in a story, it is another to be able to actually visualize the story as you are reading it. I can actually see the pup, his mother, and their surroundings bacause you have put plenty of visuals into your writting.
There are 10 types of people in this world. Those who understand binary and those who don't.

User avatar
oldwrench
Ojiichan
Posts: 4042
Joined: July 10th, 2007, 5:35 am
Location: Erehwon MN USA
Contact:

Re: Hallow's Corner

Post by oldwrench » February 1st, 2012, 9:28 pm

That is very well done. Yes it could use some polishing, but the story and imagery is very well done. I think you have a talent for this. The artwork is very well done also. There is a lot of feeling in it. Thanks for sharing, and please keep it up.
Dogs have owners, Cats have staff

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

User avatar
Dorian
New User
Posts: 16
Joined: January 26th, 2012, 8:18 am
Location: United States
Contact:

Re: Hallow's Corner

Post by Dorian » February 2nd, 2012, 5:50 am

@Hiki: Yes I do feel bad for killing Argo's dad.
Was very horrid of me to do so, since he was such a loving father. Well I am glad you enjoyed the visual as I had to make the doodle fast so that I could show the scene.
It didn't come out as well as I would have hoped but it was something that I wanted to try and re-create.
Thanks again! ;)

@JHawkNH: Ah I do thank you for being as honest as you could with me. I do appreciate that you attempted to point out something good in my words as opposed to just knocking it down, But I do know that it was very chaotic and a bit too fast to give a complete visual. At most the father was the best described but some of the words used like the pup was small and fuzzy and his mother had a soft voice was clear, but the depiction of themselves were not too clear.

I hope to start giving a bit more roundness to the characters as I seem to always either lack description or character development. I also have a heard time giving correct punctuation when needed and well other simple grammar mistakes, but on the whole of not being able to write I suppose I can give myself a pat on the back.

Again, Thank you! ;)

@OldWrench: As I said to JHawkNH, I do appreciate the fine open quality everyone shares here. I have to admit that I can portray visuals pretty well when I do use them, and I know that is what helps from making my stories to bland. I just must admit I have no taste for writing, as it is not a gift that I hold any talent in. I think though that your remark bout the talent also lies from being able to draw with the emotion giving me the use of creative imagery in my writing.
Thanks for the wonderful comment! ;)

@All: I shall try to share more--if I can I will try and write another story as soon as I finish school work!
Au Dieu Mon Amies!!
Image

User avatar
Raine
Angel
Angel
Posts: 1305
Joined: July 14th, 2007, 6:34 am
Location: in the ocean drowning

Re: Hallow's Corner

Post by Raine » February 2nd, 2012, 5:55 am

Cool!!!!i look forward to read more!!!!

:thumb: :thumb: :thumb:

Love your drawingss!!Argo is cuuuuuute!!! :love: :love:
"As far as I'm concerned, if something is so complicated that you can't explain it in 10 seconds, then it's probably not worth knowing anyway

User avatar
Dorian
New User
Posts: 16
Joined: January 26th, 2012, 8:18 am
Location: United States
Contact:

Re: Hallow's Corner

Post by Dorian » February 4th, 2012, 5:38 am

Thanks Raine. :thumb:
I hope to post more if I can get myself to stop being so lazy. :sob:

Well I am glad to know that I can still draw cute pups. ;)

Well this is my character Charlie the Mechanic.
Doodled in class-- :swt:

Well hopefully I can start working on my details, structure and coloring skills. :/
Image

User avatar
Dorian
New User
Posts: 16
Joined: January 26th, 2012, 8:18 am
Location: United States
Contact:

Re: Hallow's Corner

Post by Dorian » February 4th, 2012, 6:56 am

I am crossing my fingers and hoping this worked!!


:sob:
Charliefin.png
(283 KiB) Not downloaded yet
Image

User avatar
Sakura
Resident Kitty
Posts: 2537
Joined: July 9th, 2007, 11:19 pm

Re: Hallow's Corner

Post by Sakura » February 4th, 2012, 12:13 pm

Heh that looks really good. And very promising. I still have some of Hiki's drawings seven (??) years ago. It's hard work to improve your drawing but you're definitely on track.

(( No no Hiki I won't delete these, it's one of my treasures! :love: :love: :love: :love: ))
What do you call a dinosaur with an extended vocabulary? A thesaurus.

User avatar
Sakura
Resident Kitty
Posts: 2537
Joined: July 9th, 2007, 11:19 pm

Re: Hallow's Corner

Post by Sakura » February 4th, 2012, 12:15 pm

Dorian wrote:I am crossing my fingers and hoping this worked!!
Oh ermmm well the image is broken, can you pleeeease reupload it?
I know it's a purrroblem with the web server right now. Our contract runs until 2nd August 2012 until then we have to bear with the connection problems, I'm afraid.

The only thing that helps is regular restarts of the server. Mreowwww~~ :sob:
What do you call a dinosaur with an extended vocabulary? A thesaurus.

Post Reply